WHO’S YOUR BFF DANIELLE??

How can the season of New Jersey Housewives be over all ready?? How sad? The D.C. Housewives are just not bringing me the enjoyment that the Jersey girls do. So, let’s get this straight. Danielle’s best friends are her bodyguards, the spiritual advisor, her two daughters, and Danny (the ex con). So it’s the people she pays, the people that have no choice, and the guy that either wants to rob her or get in her pants. I’m thinking he probably wants to do both. I would think Danny would be running back to prison screaming at the top of his lungs rather than to listen to the Danielle’s mouth for another single second.

So Caroline decides she is going to have a little chat with Danielle about the charges against Ashley. Oh no big mama is stepping in Danielle. Danielle thinks it is the meeting of the matriarchs. Don’t you need to rule multiple or groups of family members to be considered a matriarch?? You are not a matriarch Danielle. You are a mom!! Totally different. So don’t even think about celebrating Matriarch’s Day Danielle! That is solely reserved for Caroline and my Aunt Anne. While Caroline was at "the meeting" the rest of the family had dinner. That is all that family does is have dinner. I prefer lunch but I guess dinner is fine. You can drink way more alcohol at dinner. Did Chris really order a ½ red wine, ½ coke??? Yes there is such a thing as a wine spritzer but it usually has club soda. Have I served gin and milk? Absolutely!! I have heard a lot of things in my bartending days, but never this red carbonated craziness. Chris seems to be a sensible man, so I googled it. Guess what?? It’s a real drink. Well, don’t I feel silly!! It’s called Calimocho (a.k.a. the poor man’s drink). I wonder if that is what Joe Joe was drinking when he crashed his Escalade. I bet Calimocho has a way of sneaking up on you, especially at 2 a.m.! It probably would have been helpful if he wiped the red wine mustache off before the police show up?? Got Calimocho??? I would definitely have dropped the charges against Ashley if Caroline summoned me for a private chat. She had me at “I shave my face!”  I was even more scared when she started chewing on ice cubes after Danielle left!! It was cold out too. Caroline was gnawing on ice in the dead of winter. I wouldn't want to mess with her!! I love that Danielle told Mr. Bodyguard all about her meeting and how Caroline called her garbage again. I am sure he really cares!! Danielle your talking and he’s thinking man that reminds me I have to take out the garbage and I hope this check is going to clear. Ultimately, Ashley plead guilty to the assault charges against Danielle and had to pay a $189 fine. If you ask me that was the best $189 Ashley ever spent!! So much better than a public apology!!