How is it that Claudia is ready to get a paternity test and she doesn't even look pregnant?  How come her ass isn't the size of China and her nose isn't the size of her face. How come she wasn't in a maternity bathing suit about two months ago?  Just sayin'!!  Rebecca agrees to move in with the Quartermaine's.  How is that going to fly with Nikolas?  Hey Nikolas remember the time yesterday when I moved all my crap in your house? Well, I was thinking I really should just put everything back on the boat and move out.  I still want to date though and probably leave a toothbrush. I was thinking what a great idea it would be to move in with Edward and Monica who I totally don't know. Seriously the Quartermaine house is turning into a home for wayward children!   There is a new social scene in Port Charles and it is the pool at The Club.  Looks fun and I am totally looking into getting a membership. Michael, Kristina, and Kristina's boyfriend can be seen poolside.  Kristina's boyfriend doesn't like Michael for some reason and keeps calling him coma boy.  I have to tell you I say alot of inappropriate things and coma boy just doesn't seem very P.C.  Plus, what kind of dummy are you calling the son of Sonny Corinthos coma boy.  I mean that is just being friends with the children of a mobster 101!

Happy Amniocentesis Day Sonny! BIG DAY!! Today’s the day you find out if your wife is carrying your baby or your nephew. Good news is that regardless of the test results the child will still be related to you; and you can still buy it a Christmas present. Oh by the way, I have been meaning to tell you what a great idea it was to marry Claudia.  Awesome move! Spinelli proposes marriage to Maxi after a long night of passionate love making. Another great idea!  Maxi doesn’t say yes or no just that she is late for work as she scurries out of the penthouse.  Ethan still continues to pressure Rebecca.  Rebecca has to know that this is not going to end well, right? Ethan will continue to blackmail her and it is just a matter of time before her secret blows up in her face.  How do people on soaps not know these things?  It is like they are living in a bubble or something.  Rebecca decides to go to Edward for the $10,000 instead of Nicholas. Edward writes her a check with no questions asked.  I need an Edward.  His only condition is that she moves into the Quartermaine mansion.  Although Nikolas is very pleasing to wake up to in the morning; Windermere is creepy. Also, how can you live somewhere that is only accessible by boat?  That has got to reek havoc on the hair. 

I just watched yesterday’s episode of General.  This parenting thing is really getting in the way of my busy viewing schedule. Spinelli finally sings! Hallelujah!!   Of course his voice starts off shaky, but then Spinelli hits all the right notes.  The end result is Spinelli and Maxi making sweet love in the regrettably pink room at Jason’s house. Ethan puts pressure on Rebecca. He wants her to get $10,000 from Nicholas by tomorrow or he will expose her secret that she came to Port Charles to con Emily’s love ones.  How does that work?  Morning Nicholas…remember the time last week when you offered me money and I said no way. Well how about you give me $10,000.  Nicholas says “I was more thinking around $50.00 a week.”  Rebecca says “Your such a cheapskate! Well then can I get 200 weeks in advance!”  Jason has Sam do a background check on Dominic.  Dominic gives Sonny information on a disloyal member of the Zachara organization.  But who is lurky lurky listening in on the conversation?  Claudia.  I worry that all this evil can’t be good for the baby. Claudia’s baby is going to be born in a black onesie, with a cell phone in one hand ordering hits on the other babies in the nursery because they cry too much!

So it is still karaoke night at Jake’s.  This is the longest karaoke night ever. In an effort to make Spinelli more comfortable Rebecca, Maxie, and Lulu get up and sing “Don’t Cha” by the Pussycat Dolls!  The crowd goes wild.  This performance in my neck of the woods would have probably gotten a can of aqua net hurled at the stage!!  Unless you are singing karaoke at my friend Rainbow’s house on 4^th of July; the crowd there is pretty forgiving or really really drunk. Sonny agrees to give Dominic a job if he can provide a name of someone in the organization that has been disloyal to him. After Dominic leaves, Claudia and Sonny have yet another fight. Sonny walks out and ends up on Olivia’s doorstep.  End result is an old fashioned Bensonhurst lip smackdown!!  That means they kissed in case that wasn’t clear.   Oh and in case you were wondering…Spinelli has yet to sing karaoke.  He’s on stage though, so we may be getting close.